If your
like myself, I cherish every moment in my life and try to remember every
second. I've always looked at every moment in life as being a special gift, a
piece of time that belongs to you, and always have an appreciation for its
every being. Your kids, they are a special gift you hold dear to your heart.
Through the years you have watched them, as a tiny baby figuring out the world,
growing into their elementary school years, and thru high-school as they
struggled with being a teenager. You where there every time they fell and
scraped their leg, every time they got their hearts broke, and for every joyful
moment in their lives. Now, they have came of age, and its time for them to
become young adults and spread their wings and try to fly in the real world.
This is the
time when most parents will experience what is called, "Empty Nest
Syndrome", and it can be a very difficult experience. For so long, you
provided, and shared your love and protection for your child. Now, your child
is of age, and you may still long to continue to provide for your child, its a
natural instinct. But what you may not realize is that, you may do your child
more harm than good.
As we
become adults, one of the biggest things we must learn is,
"Responsibility". Without
learning responsibility, one can not survive in this world. A squirrel every
year must store nuts away for the winter if it is to survive, and if not, it
will perish. This could not be anymore true for your child. Continuing to help
your child out say financially, he or she will never learn to become
responsible. The problem is, every time you provide them with financial help,
and they are working and making a small income, they think to themselves that they
can take your money, and use their own money on what they want to buy. I am not
saying that every young adult is this way but a great percentage I presume are.
Then perhaps lets say, your child gets into a little trouble financially, they
will depend upon you, even possibly when they become older adults, to help him
or her out of what ever trouble they face.
Each of us
has to learn responsibility, and in doing so, we all must experience
consequences. And its at these times when we face consequences, which we all
have experienced, that we must determine how to resolve them and hope we do not
run into them again. So continuing to help your child can potentially give them
the mindset they can depend on you every time they run into financial trouble.
Understand that, its your job as a parent to help them become responsible
adults, so that they can be self sufficient through life. Understand that its
ok to be there, standing on the side line watching, and its ok to help pick
your child up sometimes but do not run out onto the field every time your child
gets knocked down. And like I stated earlier, it can be hard, you've been there
for your child since the beginning, and that is understandable. You may see it
as you are helping but in fact you are actually doing more harm than good.
So now the
question you may be asking now, "If I shouldn't be there one hundred
percent of the time for my child, now what?" The one thing that you can do
is, get reacquainted with your life before you had children. You can now become
more romantic with your partner, have more time for each other, and experience
things in life you always dreamed of doing. Or, you can focus more on a
favorite hobby that you did not have time for when you where raising kids,
cooking your favorite dish, wood working, golfing, fishing, or what ever it may
be.
And as a
finally note, and understand, that once you begin to get reacquainted with you
former life, you are helping your child to become an adult, and not only are
they your child, they are also becoming a best friend. This has been another
Tectip Blog brought to you by the Tectip Guy, I want to thank you for reading
today, and remember, growing up, and going through the stages of life, it can
be tough but remember, its truly an amazing experience.
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